It seems that I am not unique and that there are other Keith Pollards out there. I am not alone.

  • Keith Pollard is the American comic book artist who is best known for his work on Marvel Comics “Fantastic Four” and the “Amazing Spider-Man”. My own drawing is rubbish, so we are definitely not related. You can judge for yourself if he was any good.
  • A Keith Pollard was convicted of murdering an elderly woman in 1972, sentenced to life imprisonment, released in 1983, and then in November 1988 murdered again. He strangled a prostitute with his tie. He is the same age as me, but in no way related. Besides, I don’t wear a tie nowadays. He was sentenced to life imprisonment again in 1988 which no doubt means that he’ll be out next year and at it again….. There’s actually an online petition “Stop the murderer being released!” that you can sign to keep him locked up forever.
  • There’s an Irish Keith Pollard who’s only 20 and has one of those dire Bebo profiles that people over the age of 30 don’t understand. He only has 48 friends, and most of these appear to be Irish.
  • In Barton-on-Humber near Hull, you’ll find another Keith Pollard, and in fact, a whole generation of Pollards. This one made his name by establishing the Skidby Amateur Film-making group in the former Social Centre! So famous are the Pollards of Skidby that they named a new development of four detached houses “Pollard Garth”. My house in Berkhamsted has a number, but I shall now consider renaming it “Pollard Towers” or similar.
  • Further North, In Yorkshire, Keith Pollard is a voiceover artist who does “dry, witty, homely, wacky, boring”.  He says ”I have developed my own annoying laugh based on Terry Scott’s wife in ‘Carry On Camping’, it’s a show stopper”. We may well be related.
  • Down South, we have Keith Pollard, an accountant in Torquay. And that’s about all I know about him. Boring, really.

Those of you who know anything about search engine optimisation will realise that this page is a brazen attempt to up my Google ranking for a search on Keith Pollard.

Let’s see if it works…

It does….

I’m on the first page on Google for a search for keith pollard.